What Astrologers Know About Eclipses That You Don’t – Medium

There’s one thing astrologers don’t know about eclipses that’s plain as the nose on your face. Folks are going crazy. Crazier than usual. The kind of crazy that has us boarding up the windows at Anomalist Towers, hoarding potatoes, and stocking up on ammunition. We rather avoid mentioning He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, but the astonishing coincidences enumerated by Donna Woodwell are guaranteed to make you reach for the Xanax. How deep into this do you want to go? Spend an hour or two flipping through Wade Caves’s Notes From The Watchtower, his guide to interpreting the Great American Eclipse in addition to the wild prognostications and portents surrounding it. Those of you who follow, and believe, mainstream news He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named‘s polling numbers are in the toilet. How can HWMNBN get them to tick up, even temporarily? A White House pregnancy. It’s the perfect reality show gimmick for ratings! Not to mention its aligning with the Revelation 12 Sign. Hopefully He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named will be beaten to the punch by this cat-loving dude in San Francisco: Someone’s Looking To Produce Super Baby, Man Seeks Women To Impregnate During 2017 Solar Eclipse on Craigslist. Amidst the madness, headlines like Agencies Advise On Possible ‘Lizard Man,’ ‘Bigfoot’ Sightings In South Carolina During Eclipse are relatively mundane. Still we’re happy The Post and Courier’s Brooks Brunson is keeping a level head and spreading the word lest anyone get winged during this celestial event. May Fort and Corliss have mercy upon us all! (CS)

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